Just Another Ordinary Day

Happy Birthday to me. Well i guess i'm so pathetic to say this to myself. haha. well i went to QE2 last night to celebrate with a couple of friends. had fun there and i couldnt sleep last night. i dont know y. i'm finally 18th. well i've been looking forward to this day my entire life. i mean come on. 18th!! my prefect vision for my 18th birthday was far from what i got. Sometimes i feel that "what's the point of treating people really nice when they can even forget your birthday". well to be honest, i do forget people's birthday at times. well i guess it's karma. haha.. but whatever it is, my ultimate birthday wish is to become an actor/model one day. i have the passion to do it and i will make it one day. it's nice to keep dreaming everyday about what u wanna be in the future, but the challenge is keeping that dream alive. it's like getting a grade A in physics during high school. it's easy doing so but then the challenge is keeping that A. i hope god fulfills my dream. that's my ultimate birthday wish. what's yours?

Introduction

Well the reason i wanted to start bloggin is mainly because i wanna occupy my time. to be honest it's not only that, well i guess i express my self more in writing than speaking. The reason y i chose this title "introduction" was to let everyone know the true me. Well i'm a very outgoing person who used to be the "happy go lucky" guy that everybody loves. I mean i dont wanna get over my head but then it's true. Come on, when we were young all of us felt the same way. I love listening to people's problems and stuff and i would love to advise them. I had a normal and an enjoyable childhood. i love my past and never regretted goin through them. I wasnt really expose to the situations and problems that people went through until i was 14. That's when most of the problems started pouring in. Well, first off, my dad. It was hard for me to make him happy and satisfied with me. He always compared me to his friend's sons and daughters. He would deliberately tell me how smart they are and so on and would questioned me "y i am not like them". I tried everything in the book to make him be proud of me. To be honest, i've spent most of my teenage life impressing my parents. To see my parents happy and proud of me was everything then. But then i got like really tired of impressing them. Relationships started to come in the picture. I have never had a successful relationship at all till this day. Okay i have to admit, i never had a real relationship before with anyone. I mean i would like to find a person who i can spend time with talking about this sorta things and all. I mean it's nice to sit around talking to the person you are close to about personal issues and stuff. I never had that. i've been wasting quarter of my life trying to find the right one to talk to. I've came across people who i thought was alright but then they ended up disappointing me in everyway. I express myself very well in writing lyrics and stuff. Well my ultimate dream is to become someone famous and popular. I used to think that everybody realise and supported the dream that i wanna have but then now i realise no more than 5 people have my back. This year has been the worst year in my entire life. nothing was every right. i have a friend who always tell me that not everything revolves around me. i know it dont! But if i were you, i would be thinking of being in the person's shoe and knowing how they feel before judging them. there are a lot that i wanna say in my heart but i dont know how. Right now, i cant feel anythin. i have no emotions. i've been sad for so many years that all the emotions are lost along the way. sometimes i feel like a cold blooded person. i'm not like that just so u know. to be honest, i'm really disappointed. if i had a pen, paper and painting skills like michael angelo, i would paint how i feel inside. And if i had the ability to write songs with melody like beyonce or usher, i would write out what i feel inside. but u know what? i havent found the words to complete the melody that i started.. Well everything is left hanging like the way it is. nothing ever falls into the hole that i will bury when it's done. Well the bloggin will continue, and when it stops, that means i'm dead! haha. so continue reading from here on as i would take u through a journey that will change u forever. or at least a bit.!