Emotionless

something dramatic happened today. well not that dramatic for me. it was more dramatic towards my friends. it was really sad to see someone close to my friends go back to her hometown for good. well it was not her decision to go back home but it was more like forced to. standing there looking at them biding farewell and seeing all the emotions pouring out made me think whether i have the emotion inside to do that. i know this girl. i mean obviously she hasnt made a huge impact in my life but it still made me think whether i am man with a heart. i dont know. it just makes me wonder. sometimes i feel that i am a man without a heart. without any feeling inside. enough said.

Looking back into the past!

well woke up today as usual to another ordinary day. what's different with it was Me,Sam & Gloria had a group chat on msn! we were chatting about the days when we used to hang out together in Gurney Plaza, group studying for spm in the church and panicking at the same time. oh man i misss those days and i miss talking and hanging out with u guys so much. wish i could wind back the clock to those days. those days when we had sleepover party in sam's house with ramsey,edwina,jonathan tan, marilyn and more. ohh i wonder and hope they are all alright. would really like to get together again. remember those times with the water balloon fight and the horror movies? lol.. it's still fresh in my mind.! well then me and sam didnt talk to each other for about 2 years because of a stupid fight and we got back together in the "persons are gift" camp. man i swear that was the happiest day of my life! sam do u remember that time? for gloria, i met her in sue zanne's sleepover partttyyyy.. and what do u know, that's when me,sam and gloria hung out together all the time. haha.. remembered the time when we used to go to gloria's play and mess around with her lights. lol.. this post is for u guys. i hope all the memories of us are still fresh in your mind. it is for me=) well i'm so glad to talk to u guys once again. good times

Best Friends Forever is a definite! Love u guys a lot. cant wait to get back and spend time together.!

Ps: i remembered the time when i came back from UK and i went down to kl and stayed over in sam's place with gloria and we all had 15 shots of bacardi apple! that's when gloria started playing checkers on her imaginary board! hahaha. remember ?

Changes

As part of growing up we experience changes in our lives. changes in our attitude, personality, looks, height and even the way we look at the world. as a kid i never really cared about a single thing on what is going on around the world. i'm sure most of us didnt cause at that time we were probably playful and busy making new friends in kindergarden and school. the most important thing then was having fun and living a wonderful life. who knows what was going on in the world then? who even cared? as a kid i gotta admit that i had the most amazing childhood ever. playing on the streets, running around, hurting myself while playing. it was the best experienced ever and being the cheeky one in school and always causing trouble was essential.


When i got a little bit older, i started to see the world in a different perspective. the things that i didnt careless seems to be a major issue. racism, disputes between two countries, economic problems were among the things that i blanked out almost 18 years of my life. now i see the world as a very cold place and environment to live in. it's like being in a place full of sin and temptation. the world used to seems as a place of peace and harmony but i guess it all changes as u grow older? being in this position now, people often feel that they should strive better in life. for example, being fitter, being stronger, being richer, being committed. we spend most of our money on self improvement books just so we can make changes in life. here's reality, u can learn various things from a book but to input the things that we learn into our life it's a different story. nothing is that easy in life. we will continue to learn and learn. life is a learning process. there's never a point when u stop and say: " enough! i am fully educated. i've succeeded." the minute u stop to learn is the minute your heart stops beating. That's when u know u've learn enough. life is a journey. a horrific and disturbing journey. u never know what is going to happen to u next. well u would know unless u are some god or something who can predict the future.

changes i see. changes i feel. changes i bare. as my journey continues, i keep most of it in my memory. memories when i was a child, a teenager in high school. sometimes i stop and think oh how i wish i am able to rewind and be in that moment i treasure the most once again. but i guess it never happens in reality.

this sentence i read in a magazine actually means something. i dont know about u but it does to me.

"the road to being a better man is long and hard and lashed with many stones, and we all walk it alone".

so take a break from your busy schedule and think about the changes u went through in your life.

Baby I'm You

Here we go again. back to square one. back to being stuck in a box. well here's something for u. love works in many tremendous ways that sometimes we just are blinded by it or we just pass it without realizing. when love is found, it's honestly the most beautiful thing that u could ever experience in life. nothing makes me smile more than seeing two devoted couples being together and having fun. these couples finish each other's sentence and know what each individual is thinking. doesnt this make u smile when u see couples like this around? sometimes u must admit that you are jealous. cause i do get jealous too sometimes. do u believe that love is blind? do u believe in love at first sight? i believe in all those but nothing seems to be happening at the moment. sometimes we get caught up in a one sided love affair. as i was watching "the holiday", a couple of lines caught my attention. the cruelest kind of love is unrequited love. we are the walking wounded. the advantage of a handicap parking lot. dont u think it's true? oh well enough said. just think, if u do good u expect to get something good in return right? whatever happen to that?