Looking back into the past!

well woke up today as usual to another ordinary day. what's different with it was Me,Sam & Gloria had a group chat on msn! we were chatting about the days when we used to hang out together in Gurney Plaza, group studying for spm in the church and panicking at the same time. oh man i misss those days and i miss talking and hanging out with u guys so much. wish i could wind back the clock to those days. those days when we had sleepover party in sam's house with ramsey,edwina,jonathan tan, marilyn and more. ohh i wonder and hope they are all alright. would really like to get together again. remember those times with the water balloon fight and the horror movies? lol.. it's still fresh in my mind.! well then me and sam didnt talk to each other for about 2 years because of a stupid fight and we got back together in the "persons are gift" camp. man i swear that was the happiest day of my life! sam do u remember that time? for gloria, i met her in sue zanne's sleepover partttyyyy.. and what do u know, that's when me,sam and gloria hung out together all the time. haha.. remembered the time when we used to go to gloria's play and mess around with her lights. lol.. this post is for u guys. i hope all the memories of us are still fresh in your mind. it is for me=) well i'm so glad to talk to u guys once again. good times

Best Friends Forever is a definite! Love u guys a lot. cant wait to get back and spend time together.!

Ps: i remembered the time when i came back from UK and i went down to kl and stayed over in sam's place with gloria and we all had 15 shots of bacardi apple! that's when gloria started playing checkers on her imaginary board! hahaha. remember ?

Changes

As part of growing up we experience changes in our lives. changes in our attitude, personality, looks, height and even the way we look at the world. as a kid i never really cared about a single thing on what is going on around the world. i'm sure most of us didnt cause at that time we were probably playful and busy making new friends in kindergarden and school. the most important thing then was having fun and living a wonderful life. who knows what was going on in the world then? who even cared? as a kid i gotta admit that i had the most amazing childhood ever. playing on the streets, running around, hurting myself while playing. it was the best experienced ever and being the cheeky one in school and always causing trouble was essential.


When i got a little bit older, i started to see the world in a different perspective. the things that i didnt careless seems to be a major issue. racism, disputes between two countries, economic problems were among the things that i blanked out almost 18 years of my life. now i see the world as a very cold place and environment to live in. it's like being in a place full of sin and temptation. the world used to seems as a place of peace and harmony but i guess it all changes as u grow older? being in this position now, people often feel that they should strive better in life. for example, being fitter, being stronger, being richer, being committed. we spend most of our money on self improvement books just so we can make changes in life. here's reality, u can learn various things from a book but to input the things that we learn into our life it's a different story. nothing is that easy in life. we will continue to learn and learn. life is a learning process. there's never a point when u stop and say: " enough! i am fully educated. i've succeeded." the minute u stop to learn is the minute your heart stops beating. That's when u know u've learn enough. life is a journey. a horrific and disturbing journey. u never know what is going to happen to u next. well u would know unless u are some god or something who can predict the future.

changes i see. changes i feel. changes i bare. as my journey continues, i keep most of it in my memory. memories when i was a child, a teenager in high school. sometimes i stop and think oh how i wish i am able to rewind and be in that moment i treasure the most once again. but i guess it never happens in reality.

this sentence i read in a magazine actually means something. i dont know about u but it does to me.

"the road to being a better man is long and hard and lashed with many stones, and we all walk it alone".

so take a break from your busy schedule and think about the changes u went through in your life.

Baby I'm You

Here we go again. back to square one. back to being stuck in a box. well here's something for u. love works in many tremendous ways that sometimes we just are blinded by it or we just pass it without realizing. when love is found, it's honestly the most beautiful thing that u could ever experience in life. nothing makes me smile more than seeing two devoted couples being together and having fun. these couples finish each other's sentence and know what each individual is thinking. doesnt this make u smile when u see couples like this around? sometimes u must admit that you are jealous. cause i do get jealous too sometimes. do u believe that love is blind? do u believe in love at first sight? i believe in all those but nothing seems to be happening at the moment. sometimes we get caught up in a one sided love affair. as i was watching "the holiday", a couple of lines caught my attention. the cruelest kind of love is unrequited love. we are the walking wounded. the advantage of a handicap parking lot. dont u think it's true? oh well enough said. just think, if u do good u expect to get something good in return right? whatever happen to that?

20th of Feb

well let's start off with last night! i went to Stupid Tuesday in the union! it was really good.. stayed till around 1am and stuff.. sarah and tina were extremely funny in a sense that they had too much to drink. haha.. well it was quite a good night. had to come home early because i had work in the morning. but u know what? when i came back this after Stupid Tuesday i couldnt fall asleep!!!!!!! i fell asleep at 6am only and i couldnt wake up for my morning work shift! in the end i had to go to the afternoon shift. it was good but boring. i just needed to stand outside in the cold and smile at the visitors who came for the open day. easy money haha!

anyway it's my mum's birthday today. talked to my parents on the phone and it was all good.! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! hope u have a great one. and guess what? i am going to spain in 3 weeks! woohoo.. made myself an awesome dinner! lamb and mushroom gravy! yummmmmm

well obviously on i've been doing some thinking. i dont know what's running around in my mind. i guess it was what made me not sleep last night! here's how i put it. what do u do when u find yourself stuck in a box and couldnt get out? ever wonder of that? let me know what u think.. =)

The Journey Continues

okay here's the thing, sorry for not blogging for such a long time. i've been so lazy lately. well i recently decided to blog again because i just want to. haha.. well i went to dublin, ireland over the weekend and stayed in mark's place.. i drank all the guiness i could drink and man i gotta admit i havent drank that much guiness in my entire life before. truly speaking, dublin is a remarkable place to visit. honestly i swear! if u get the chance to go there DO IT! i love it there. i mean the people and all and the accent there is just soothing.. i felt like i found the right place to stay in. when i was there i managed to do another thing that is a must do in my life and that is to go to a gospel church! that's right! a gospel singing church like what u see on "sister act" the movie. it was ABSOLUTELY brilliant and moreover it's a catholic gospel church. it was one of the best mass i ever been in my entire lifetime. i was blown away by the choir and the singing.. it was truly a mass that i've never been before. so now i'm back in loughborough all freshen up to start my new term and guess what it's freaking amazing! i love it here so far and i am enjoying myself.. i also miss my family in penang but i have to be honest i dont get home sick. does it consider me as a heartless person? hmmm tell me what u think about it. well i will be working tomorrow for the university. helping them in this ucas open day thingy. hey at least i get paid. haha.. dont worry i will keep this blog updated i promise and i will post some photos later. well take care guys i'm off now. see u in a bit.=)

Just Another Ordinary Day

Happy Birthday to me. Well i guess i'm so pathetic to say this to myself. haha. well i went to QE2 last night to celebrate with a couple of friends. had fun there and i couldnt sleep last night. i dont know y. i'm finally 18th. well i've been looking forward to this day my entire life. i mean come on. 18th!! my prefect vision for my 18th birthday was far from what i got. Sometimes i feel that "what's the point of treating people really nice when they can even forget your birthday". well to be honest, i do forget people's birthday at times. well i guess it's karma. haha.. but whatever it is, my ultimate birthday wish is to become an actor/model one day. i have the passion to do it and i will make it one day. it's nice to keep dreaming everyday about what u wanna be in the future, but the challenge is keeping that dream alive. it's like getting a grade A in physics during high school. it's easy doing so but then the challenge is keeping that A. i hope god fulfills my dream. that's my ultimate birthday wish. what's yours?

Introduction

Well the reason i wanted to start bloggin is mainly because i wanna occupy my time. to be honest it's not only that, well i guess i express my self more in writing than speaking. The reason y i chose this title "introduction" was to let everyone know the true me. Well i'm a very outgoing person who used to be the "happy go lucky" guy that everybody loves. I mean i dont wanna get over my head but then it's true. Come on, when we were young all of us felt the same way. I love listening to people's problems and stuff and i would love to advise them. I had a normal and an enjoyable childhood. i love my past and never regretted goin through them. I wasnt really expose to the situations and problems that people went through until i was 14. That's when most of the problems started pouring in. Well, first off, my dad. It was hard for me to make him happy and satisfied with me. He always compared me to his friend's sons and daughters. He would deliberately tell me how smart they are and so on and would questioned me "y i am not like them". I tried everything in the book to make him be proud of me. To be honest, i've spent most of my teenage life impressing my parents. To see my parents happy and proud of me was everything then. But then i got like really tired of impressing them. Relationships started to come in the picture. I have never had a successful relationship at all till this day. Okay i have to admit, i never had a real relationship before with anyone. I mean i would like to find a person who i can spend time with talking about this sorta things and all. I mean it's nice to sit around talking to the person you are close to about personal issues and stuff. I never had that. i've been wasting quarter of my life trying to find the right one to talk to. I've came across people who i thought was alright but then they ended up disappointing me in everyway. I express myself very well in writing lyrics and stuff. Well my ultimate dream is to become someone famous and popular. I used to think that everybody realise and supported the dream that i wanna have but then now i realise no more than 5 people have my back. This year has been the worst year in my entire life. nothing was every right. i have a friend who always tell me that not everything revolves around me. i know it dont! But if i were you, i would be thinking of being in the person's shoe and knowing how they feel before judging them. there are a lot that i wanna say in my heart but i dont know how. Right now, i cant feel anythin. i have no emotions. i've been sad for so many years that all the emotions are lost along the way. sometimes i feel like a cold blooded person. i'm not like that just so u know. to be honest, i'm really disappointed. if i had a pen, paper and painting skills like michael angelo, i would paint how i feel inside. And if i had the ability to write songs with melody like beyonce or usher, i would write out what i feel inside. but u know what? i havent found the words to complete the melody that i started.. Well everything is left hanging like the way it is. nothing ever falls into the hole that i will bury when it's done. Well the bloggin will continue, and when it stops, that means i'm dead! haha. so continue reading from here on as i would take u through a journey that will change u forever. or at least a bit.!